I've shared the dream I had the other night with a few close friends and trusted adults... Here are their responses.
Cory: "Not a good night for you last night darlin'?"
Me: "I did not sleep. I got like three hours in, tops. What makes you ask?"
Cory: "Oh I facebook creeped. :P I'm sorry you didn't have a good night. I didn't get a lot of sleep either."
Me: "I've had some really freaky weird dreams that I can't seem to decipher. So I guess my subconscious decided last night that I didn't want to sleep."
Him: "What were you dreaming about?"
Me: "If you click on the link on my facebook. It goes to my blog where I wrote out the whole thing. It was weird."
(an hour later)
Him: "It seems to me that some issues may be arising from ideas of conformity. I read it a few times to get a good feel for it."
Me: "I seriously can't stop thinking about it."
Him: "From the sounds of it, it seems like you're facing an ultimatum of sorts; one that either ends with acceptance and conformity, or stereotypical damnation, and your dream self seeking to abandon both options in favor of a third choice."
Me: "But it falls through. And I just end up back in the same place I started. :/"
Him: "Which does seem to imply your own perception that this decision is somewhat inescapable, or that no no matter the decision you make, you'll still be right where you are to begin with."
Me: "It's all so frustrating. That makes a lot of sense though... what of the girl in the dress?"
Him: "Perhaps it's you? You, should you join them."
Me: "Join who exactly?"
Him: "Whoever the stone faced women represent."
Me: "They scared the crap outta me."
Him: "They definitely exemplify emotionless, almost inhuman stoic nature."
(change of subject)
Later I got a response from Janet Nordine, Grant's mom... she's a therapist.I invited her to read my dream and I asked her of her opinions on it...
"Alexa - thanks for sharing your dream with me.
One thing I know about the feeling of falling, even in an elevator is falling is an indication of insecurities, instabilities, and anxieties. You are feeling overwhelmed and out of control in some situation in your waking life. Also, falling in an elevator to a place where there are seemingly 2 choices may tell you that you are at a cross road in your life and you are trying to choose between what you perceive could be a wrong choice ( hell ) and a choice that is right, but still not appealing to you ( the 2nd door). The thing I noticed about you this weekend is there is an underlying feeling of melancholy - not sadness, or depression, just wanting something and not knowing what that something is or how to get to where it may be. It is so hard to be your age and want life to move forward and to get to the next place when you are in a place of not knowing what to do now. If I may offer advise: just relax. I heard you say several times that you are trying to be a good person. I think you are a good person already, you just don't see that in yourself. If you have life choices in front of you and you feel you are unsure of what you should do - just be with the choices - give yourself time - don't rush - do what you know you are supposed to do. Let God work a miracle in your life. I spent time reading your blog and my heart has taken you in even more than I did when you visited. I have so much in common with you from your age in my own life. I am here to talk anytime with you and I am safe - I promise.
With love - Janet"
So that's that for now... I feel a lot better about the dream in itself now that I have a good understanding of it. I feel really good about the responses I received. A lot more at peace. It basically tells me what I already know... Here I am, at a crossroads. I know the two definite paths that are laid out before me. But there's the "what if" path, the stray and less-traveled path that I am scared to take, but ya know... maybe Old Man Frost had something when he took that path... Granted, the situation isn't exact, it still applies...
"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
"Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
"And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
-Robert Frost (1920)
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