the number game

I posted this Facebook status the other day.

"So I find this "number game" intriguing. I'm jumping on the bandwagon, so here's the lowdown on the rules, boys and girls. Pick a random number, send it to me as a message in my inbox, and I will in turn update my status as a message to you, using only your number as identification. Ready... Go."

I was overwhelmed by how many responses I've received, and I think the best way to go about responding to them is by putting them in my blog.
Enjoy.

341: Don't you worry. That secret is still safe. Not a soul knows. And I've grown to adore you quite a bit. I think that that past experience between us kind of made me come to realize that you're human, just like me. And despite our human tendencies, we're still able to be good people. And that's why I like you so much. I think you're very talented and kind.

17: Gonna be honest. You're a hot slice. If I were to go lesbian, it'd be for you. But you already knew that. I honestly don't know why you're dating the guy you're with. For real. How do you put up with him? I mean, okay. I like him just fine. I consider him a friend. But seriously, I can't handle him for more than maybe an hour at a time. You're a saint.

444: I honestly think that I love you. And that I love you quite a bit. We didn't get much of a chance, and it wasn't fair to either of us that we were torn apart the way that we were. I wish we could have had time. I wish that we would have been able to explore that budding romance and see just how real whatever love we have just may have been. You are the most romantic person I have ever met. You swept me off of my feet that night when you kissed me under the moonlight. I wish you wouldn't peg yourself as a perpetually lonely person. I wish I could have the chance to change that. You taught me how to feel again. You showed me how to stop holding back and how to love with everything I am. You continually lift me up and give me hope for my own future. Don't forget me, ever.

189: Every day I realize just how much more I can relate to you. I really look up to you. I want to be like you. It kills me to see how much you beat yourself up. You don't deserve that. If it makes any difference at all, I love you. I love you very much. Although I really don't know you and I haven't had much of a chance to sit and get to know you... I'm hoping that will change. I'm kind of looking to you as someone who is making a journey with me, holding my hand and kind of pulling me along because you're two steps ahead of me. And all I can say is... Thanks. For being that example, that friend.

"Eleventy seven" :) I'm not sure if you realize just how much of an impact you have made in my life. I would not be who I am today if it weren't for you. You have been my guiding light for so many years now. I've always looked up to you (regardless of the fact that I am the taller of the two of us) and I hope I don't get in trouble for saying this. But you really are my very best and truest friend. I've had you the longest, and that's my argument. Thank you for being there when I fell down, and quietly helping me back onto my feet so many times. I love you so much, and I always will.

19: I'm not entirely sure what to say or how to start. I'm glad you don't hate me. In fact, I'm glad that your hate for me grew into best friendship. You're an amazing person. I'm grateful to you for being so willing to open yourself up and tell me every little thing, not matter how painful, about your life. I'm so glad we're walking down this long road together. I can't even tell you how much it helps to have someone to check in with every day. I love you, even when you're a jerk like today when you wouldn't like my page. (f you btw.) Thanks for teaching me to not care what people think about me and to just be myself, whatever the expense.

726: So I really admire your self-confidence. You are incredible, like, really. You've got balls. And by the way, I believe you've lost weight since last spring. And. You. Look. Uhmazing. I miss spending time with you, quite a bit. ...what happened to us? And now I'm moving home, so we need to at least go get dinner or something before I go, alright? :(

"thirtinity two": haha, very clever number, by the way. You're right- I honestly don't have much to say. Although, remember how years ago you sent me an email telling me that you'd written me a song? I've been curious to hear it ever since. Maybe you don't even remember how it goes. But I'm still curious. :)

4: So it kinda sucks that we've been slowly losing contact over the years. But when we do manage to get together (once a year) it's almost like we weren't apart. I miss you. I love you. PS. Can you play over christmas?

‎10: weren't we supposed to do some boyfriend-girlfriend things? Whatever, come see me. Or buy me a plane ticket and I'll come see you. ... Grow up. ... I miss you

3: Thanks for being a trustworthy friend. I've let you in on a bunch of my secrets and the struggles I've had, and you've never told a soul. You're probably my favorite. Hey, I'm moving home, let's do lunch, yes?

42: You're the answer to life, the universe, everything. I need you. Without you I would surely die. Sooner or later we have to come clean and tell everyone what's up. I love you very much. You've got half of my brain, I'm sure you're aware of that by now... Sometimes I think we're gonna end up married. It wouldn't be a bad thing, I don't think. But I try not to think about that too much. But our kids would be hilarious. Jussayin'

86: You're right. I haven't got a lot to say... I don't know you all that well. BUT thank you for the bountiful amounts of free candy and junk. You're a fantastic human being.

821: You always comment on these things of mine to see what I'd say. But truth is, sweetheart, I barely know you. I feel like we literally only had one conversation before you moved. But thanks for being a generous person, always willing to help out a friend :)

872.1: ...You told me to do my worst. You asked for it. I have a lot of things that I never said to you. First off, you're a real douchebag for breaking my heart the way you did. There were many other feasible ways you could have broken the news to me. But through facebook? Come on. I loved you. And I don't mean that lightly. You're one of only two people I ever saw myself having a future with. ... I wrote you a song. I finished it and the next day, no joke, the bomb dropped. I never told you. When you broke my heart I... went outside and sat on the roof and cried. I listened to sad and angry breakup songs for two weeks. You hurt me. A lot. I know I said that I'm over it. But the truth is, I'm not over you. I know it couldn't happen again, with the distance, but sometimes entertaining the thought when I can't sleep at night is all I can do. We fit so perfectly together. I'm glad we're civil. I'm glad that I can still consider you my friend. I'm glad that we can still talk to each other. But sometimes, it still hurts. When I see your girlfriend post things on your wall, it stings. You two seem so happy, and all I can do is try to be happy for you.

25: To be honest, when I first met you, I didn't like you all that much. You have a very unique personality. You've grown on me a lot since then. You've also progressed quite a bit musically as well. You sound great. (PS. Have a happy birthday)

‎79.2: I hope you don't expect some big, long, heartfelt note. I've only really met you once or twice. But my neighbor seems to be quite fond of you, so I suppose that's good enough for me. :)

2276: Oh, that fateful day that I met you at KFC. Were you high? You were really psychotic. But I grew to love you more and more with each passing day. It's a shame we haven't had much of a chance to spend time together. I love you. :)

333: You know what's sad? I only distinctly remember having two actual face-to-face conversations with you. That's what's sad. All of our conversations have been through text. I love to see your facebook statuses and text you every now and then and see how much you grow and progress in your journey of finding yourself. I emulate you for making that difficult journey.

2417: Question: I heard a rumor a while back that you got sick of men and became a lesbian. You got a girlfriend and everything. I thought that was the COOLEST thing ever. ...Is that true? Because I'm pretty sure right now you're in a relationship with a guy. Right? Anyway. Thank you for being a good example to me all of these years. Even though it's always been difficult for us to get together, what little time we've had has been treasured. Thanks for pulling me back into that church building. I love you.

8BILLION: I honestly don't know what to say, other than the fact that I miss you. I miss you so much. You skyrocketed into the top five best friends I've ever had in my life in a matter of three months. I am dying. DYING. Without you. I think about you every day and I wish you could be here so we could play. So I can tell you things. ...I sound like a total lesbian right now... So we can go on adventures. So we can catch frogs and name them hispanic names. So we can go on walks and steal boys' cars and make new friends every day and complain about things. You've got my favorite face. And you always will. :)

"five five five five five five five five five five": I love what a jerk you are. No really, I do. I wish I didn't care about what people think of me to the point that I could be as candid as you are. You're an individual and I admire that. A lot. I think you're a psychopath. But I love it. I can't even tell you how much I love it. Some of my most favorite memories involve you. And we have many to come. :)

shiftyfive: Gonna be flat out honest with you. When I first met you, I detested you. The the point where if I knew you were going to be in a certain place, I'd avoid that place. To the point where I almost would have rather stuck a ballpoint pen through my eye rather than have to spend more than five minutes with you. ...But, you grew on me. A lot. And yes, sometimes your high-energy personality still drives me to insanity, I really do love you. Quite a bit. And you have your annoying and unpleasant moments, but that's not who you are. You are a very kind and sweet person and I adore you very much.

3825: I'm gonna come clean. I'm very attracted to you. Not just your looks, yeah, you're really good looking. But your personality as well. You are a good person. And I really admire the fact that you're real. You're you. You make decisions based on what's good for you, not based on what everyone around you thinks you should do. No, I haven't had some "secret crush" on you since I met you, but I just thought you should know just what a catch you would be for anyone who happens to grab you. Speaking of physical attractiveness, I can't get over how thin you've gotten. It's amazing. I'm not saying you were ever "fat" in the first place. But seriously, you look really good. And I really look up to you for sticking to your diet and exercise routines. Heaven knows I couldn't.

3.1415: ... To be honest, I'm not sure if we've had more than two conversations with each other in our lives. You have an incredible operatic singing voice (that I was annoyed with at first) and you have a beautiful daughter. You seem like a good man and a fantastic father. (PS- nice use of pi. :P)

391.01: Question: Did you at one point have a smallish crush on me? I've always wondered. Also, you have the most stunning, piercing blue eyes I have ever seen. Why were you always so quiet when we were working together?! We could have been friends so much more quickly if it weren't for your insistent silence. Other than that... hopefully we can be co-workers again soon. :) convince your managers.

731: I wish you were here with me. I wish that more than anything. I wish I could put you in my pocket and keep you with me. I think we'd both be happy if we could just live close to each other for the rest of our lives. I love you so much. I want to watch you succeed. I'm happy when you're happy, and I have a little victory every time you do. I am so glad that you picked me to be one of your closest friends. I'm so glad that you trust me, and I'm so glad that I can trust you. I love you. So much.

323: You have so much potential. I still haven't figured you out yet, and I don't think you have either... I want so badly to watch you and see what you become. You are so mature and loving. I don't know, you're just a mystery to me. But you've been one of the very best roommates I've ever had. Always remember how beautiful you are. I see so much of me in you. And yeah, I know I've only got a year on you, but I still feel like it's my job to hold your hand and lead you along a bit... I just don't want you to make the same stupid choices that I have. And I want you to be happy. Alright now I'm rambling. Point is, I love you. And thank you for being there for me and nudging me down the right path these short past couple of months.

20,067: So, um, I love you. And I'm sorry I keep moving away. I just can't figure out where I'm supposed to be. Thank you for being my best friend in St. George. Thank you for being my cat and sleeping at the foot of my bed. Participating in shenanigans with me. Sleeping over and eating vast amounts of chocolate ice cream and funnel cake sticks. Loving me when I'm sad. Remember how we're best friends? :( And how I came home from Florida because you told me to? Please don't stop being my friend. Ever. PS. we're going on a date. Soon.

703: You're the most mature girl that I know your age. I feel like your my age. I love you so much. And I miss spending time with you. And your sister is a big fat jerk, just throwing that out there. I would hang out with you rather than her any day of the week. It makes me sad to know that you're so hard on yourself. I want you to remember how beautiful you really are, inside and out. And I know how cliche that sounds, but really. You're an amazing person and I can't wait to see what you become. :)

99976: So I'm sorry for being a jerk to you. The truth is, I really do like your hipster glasses and your wangster personality. I just find you to be an easy target and I like the funny responses you give me wen I bully you. Although it did hurt my feelings when you told me that my car sucks. Well, your car looks like it would be a hippie lesbian if it were a real live person. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. ... Just kidding. ... Kind of. Well anyhow. LOVE YOU!

12: So I've always kind of had a cute little crush on you. But you know that. It's probably because you're so ridiculously good-looking. And hilarious. And it doesn't help that you're in the top two best kissers I've ever kissed. Just sayin'. But you probably knew that already as well. But I promise it's not a facebookstalkingbutterfliesinmystomachswoonatyoureverymoveschoolgirlcrush. I just admire you. :) You're talented and smart and handsome and personable. And those are all admirable traits. Don't disappear, okay? And when you get famous, don't forget Utah and all the people here. ...Including me. Love you :)

777: Thanks for keeping me in check and making me want to be a better person. I really look up to you. I'm sorry you were put with such ridiculous roommates. But it's for your own good right? ...right? ... well, it's a test of your faith. And your character. And I think you've done beautifully. I admire you. I'm going to miss you a lot. :(

9134: Okay, I have to try and write this in a way that no one will know who you are. This could be a challenge. You are such an amazing person. I look up to you in so many ways. And your opinion of what I end up doing is always the one that matters the most. You are my best friend in the whole world, and if I lost you I don't know what I'd do. You take care of me. You make me laugh. And if you were a man I'd marry you. I love you. I'm sorry that sometimes we fight, but I can never stay mad at you. We have so much fun together, and I miss you so much. I love you more than anything in the world. I love you forever, I like you for always.

22: Even though you always gave me so much crap about my religion, I have always loved your cute Canadian butt. I was really upset when you left Disney. Really upset. Work wasn't the same. So I went home too. XD No, you weren't the only reason. But I did miss you. :( I'll never forget the day you called me a "coffee-snob." haha, oh my, that was so funny to me for some reason. I miss you, and I hope Canada is being good to you.

0990: I'm sorry I flat out refused to date you. I mean, the words were never said, but the underlying crush was apparent. I liked you a lot, I just hated all men at the time. And now we're both back in our respective states, and it would be nearly impossible. I'm sorry I just kind of up and left with little or no warning. I wish I could have stayed, but it was what I needed to do at the time. PS- I still have yet to read your novel. I would like to, very much.

Numbers I have yet to respond to:

42890
4141
666