...It's over!

And just like the title says... it is. Sadly enough, but yes, I broke it off with Alex a few days ago. Thoughts on this?... well... It was for the better I suppose... I'm very sad though. Damn... The best one I've ever had and I let him slip right through my fingers. I did it to salvage whatever was left. That way we still have a chance, wither after Saigon, when he makes up his mind or comes back from a mission... no one knows what the future holds. So after rehearsal on Thursday I asked him to drive me home because it was raining. When we got to my place after I let him talk about whatever he needed to vent about, I turned down the music and said, "Alex, I just need to say it. I can't do this anymore." I told him that I couldn't stand just sitting around, seeing him touch and play with the other girls in the cast while he kept a foot from me at all times because we don't want anyone to know about our relationship... Not being able to see each other, not having time to get to know each other. I told him I wasn't heartbroken over it and neither was he, I mean, we're not in love. I'm crazy about him and this makes me really sad... But I said, "let's get Saigon over with and see what happens later." We're both stressed and over-worked, and we both have plenty to stress over in the coming three or four weeks (such as the show, sleeping, school and homework etc.)... well he agreed with everything I said, sadly enough. I was almost hoping he'd say "NO!! let's just date officially! I can't lose you!" But to no ado. I guess all I can do now is try to build our friendship in whatever little time we have left. Then I'll have a missionary to write. ..Bah. The good news? Things between us in rehearsals were much more relaxed and less awkward. And I am alot more relieved than anything. It is quite the load off of my mind.

Well in other news... Rehearsals have practically eaten my soul... On Friday we worked on "The American Dream" dance for five and a half hours. If you're a woman, the entire song is done in relevé (or, on your toes) so as to not stomp all over the stage in our heels and sound like elephants. So imagine, five and a half hours of cleaning and perfecting a dance on your toes the entire time... needless to say my calves and thighs STILL ache.

The diet is moving along swimmingly. I think I've been at it for a good week or so, and I've gotten down to 142 lbs. Considering I was at 165 lbs in December, that is quite an improvement. I've still got a ways to go, but I need to really crack down and be strict on my eating habits. I've cheated a couple of times. Baaad choice. Grant just informed me that on closing night of Saigon he is buying me a cake. I adore him.

I guess other than that... not much to report. The internet has been down at my apartment complex for the past few days, and that has been incredibly obnoxious. But thankfully tonight, it decided by some miracle of God to start working again.

Other than that... the past couple of nights have been lazy (and for that I am grateful)- oh! and I went on that date with Joseph. Pretty much he came over, picked me up, we drove off in his white minivan, went to Flood Street Theatres (the dollar movies) and he spent four whole dollars on two tickets for us to see Sherlock Holmes. He sat with his hand on his knee the entire time. (Body language for, "I wanna hold your hand" maybe?) So I sat with my arms crossed the entire movie. Afterwards he drove me home, walked me to the door and gave me a hug. He later texted me and thanked me for the evening, and he asked if I would want to go again sometime... To which I replied, "Sure." Oh come on. I was nicer than that, but that was the jist of it.

Anyway... I'm off to watch an anti-Obama video on YouTube that my dad posted to his Facebook profile. I'm interested to see how this goes. If you want to see it, click on this here link.