I've had a few major events happen over the past couple few days that I need to type out before I forget them.
First of all, I am sure everyone is sick of hearing about Alex. I read my old journals and realize how stupid I sound whenever I obsess over a guy. In fact, today I pulled out my most recent journal and read a few entries. All about Miah. What an interesting, short relationship we had. I drew alot of pictures too. Maybe I'll figure out a way to scan them and put them on here. But anyway, bear with me, I need to organize everything that happened with Alex the other day. I was having a terrible week. As you all know. Rehearsals started on Thursday, and we worked from 3:00 PM til 11:00 PM. It was absolutely ridiculous. And it didn't help that Alex was sending me a lot of mixed signals, he'd hold my hand and then completely ignore me, give me a real hug then just a half hug... and he was always talking to Alexa T. (who plays the lead, Kim.)
They talk and laugh and carry on and have a grand old time... And it makes me extremely jealous. Especially since in the scene with the soldiers slow motion "groping" and slow dancing with the prostitutes, Alex and Alexa are partners. Which shouldn't bother me, it's just... obnoxious. So I had it in my head that he was after her. or vice versa. But she is such a darling, sweet and talented girl. She likes me and wouldn't do that to me. And she has a missionary, AND a situation. So she has her hands full already. Well that night, Alex left rehearsal without saying goodbye or even giving me a second glance. I texted him and said "Bye :( " and he started going on about how Justin was his ride and he was leaving and I was busy talking to someone. I responded with a "you're a bad situation. :( " He promised that he wouldn't leave without saying goodbye again. The next day rehearsal was alot better, only from 5:00 PM to 11:00 PM. I got a hug goodbye too. I talked to that boy Kyle in the show. He was the male bird from Frog and Toad. Anyway... He seems to think that the reason why Alex had been acting weird was because he was jealous of me giving attention to Kyle... which was probably complete bull crap. He said he had a sense of when guys get jealous because of him. He also was the one to make me really jealous of Alexa T. He said "Okay listen. It's all about the chase... Once the chase is over you're onto the next chase. Alex chased you. Got you. And now he's onto the next best thing. Which in his mind is Alexa T."
Me: "FML."
Him: "Ok. If you're really worried about alex then you need your head examined. Cause he's way not good enough for you and if he can't see that then it's his loss. :) "
Anyway. Well he really freaked me out. The picture is of him and Alex from backstage Frog and Toad. Mine is the one on the left.
Anyway. He texted me later after rehearsal and said, "Have a good night sugar plum!" and It made me so happy. I didn't answer. He texted me about an hour later and said, "hey you never texted me back. :( " Me: "Because I was trying to think of a good pet name. You are so darling."
Him: "ah thanks... I'm really not... I'm so pooped! that rehearsal felt like it was never gonna end!"
Me: "I know. I feel like I'm about to fall over dead. I think I'll take a hot bath."
Him: "that's what I'm gonna do too! :) I just soak for a bit then go to bed! secret time... I love baths... I hardly ever take showers!"
I don't know, I just thought it was adorable. I think I'm attracted to the qualities that make him a metrosexual. I mean, one saturday morning we both showed up in shirts that were the exact same shade of hot pink. I rest my case.
When I came home from rehearsal, Steven came over and we sat and talked for a while until I kicked him out. I couldn't sleep thanks to Musical Insomnia, in which songs from the show you are currently working won't leave your head to save your life. So I decided to take a bath, but once I went to run the water I realized that I had no drain plug. Or any candles. So I improvised. I tried using the lid to the flour canister first. It seemed to work, but it took forever to fill up the tub. Once the tub was full, I turned off the water and to my dismay, I could hear the water slowly draining. So I tried an orange. I tried a washcloth. I tried everything. Then I got pissed and got dressed, took the spare key Steven gave me to his car, and drove to Wal-Mart at 2:30 AM. I was gorgeous. But needless to say, I got my drain plug, tea light candles, matches and some colorful socks.
I ran into Kenny, Lacey and some chick at Wal-Mart too. I was just glad I decided to put on a bra before I left my apartment. They had just gotten out of Alice in Wonderland and were getting stuff to make waffles.
Well I got my bath. It was lovely and relaxing. And I'm pretty sure I fell asleep. I'm just glad I didn't drown.
Alright... I'm about to divulge a secret... I'm doing HCG. I know, I know. I probably shouldn't. I probably don't really need to. But Miss Saigon is in a month, and I'm not to the point I want to be at yet as far as my body goes. So I splurged- just a 28-day plan that should make me lose about 20 to 25 pounds. Don't judge me.
Anyway. Alex and I had our long-dreaded talk. I texted him and said, "Hey I don't want to be a pain, but I need to sit down and talk to you, straighten some stuff out." so about an hour later he came over (wearing a bright purple shirt with lime green lettering on it, and white shorts with navy blue pinstripes... Oh and a pair of mock designer sunglasses- brown tint aviators with thin gold frames. I know it doesn't sound like it all works together, but he looked incredible). He gave me a hug and held my hand as we walked to the car. Everything was normal and peachy and we talked like everything was just fine. we went and sat down and we both looked at each other sheepishly and kinda laughed. He said, "So... What did you want to talk about?" and we talked for a good hour or so. He basically just reiterated everything he'd already said, how he just got out of a relationship and he's not ready for another one, how he's afraid that if he moves too quickly into a relationship with me without giving himself time to heal that he'll just be transferring his feelings for her onto me.He also brought up that he would be starting his mission papers soon, and I told him that I wouldn't dream of holding him back. We changed our title from "Situation" to "F.T.I.S.," or "Friends taking it slow." Pretty much that means that nothing changes except for we don't show any PDA whatsoever in public. Except maybe a hug when we part. I'm okay with this... I mean, I said wouldn't get into anything serious until I was 23 anyway. He said he's really worried about hurting me and therefore wants me to set the boundaries on holding hands, kissing, etc. Bah... But everything is good. I told him that I didn't want to be an obligation, but at the same time I didn't want to just be a convenience either. He said he completely understood. And I also talked to him about what Kyle said (but I didn't mention his name), and he reassured me that that wasn't the case at all. He was backing off because he thought he was hurting me, but then realized he was hurting me by backing off and just didn't know what to do. I feel alot more cleared up about it all. Like, I'm not drowning in our situation anymore.
Katy is in town!! It makes me so happy. She freaking makes my life. She makes me laugh so hard. She spent last night with me, we went to Fargo's and I got a free frazil because I have a pretty smile. Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory caramel apples and Mongolian BBQ, as our usual tradition goes. We also watched The Brave Little Toaster from Netflix and I took another bath. This is a picture of me and Katy last summer. Those were some great times.
Today I went to church and saw my bishop again. He is such a good man. He explained to me the whole reason why my mom couldn't work in the temple, and said that it is possible for her to bypass the rule if she'll stop being stubborn and talk to the bishop about it. Well he didn't say exactly that. But that was the jist of it.
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